Apr 23 2015

The Dead Fish

The Dead Fish

In this cartoon a group of fish are worshiping their god, the “Mighty Hand”, divine bringer of food from the heavens and scraper of algae from the sides of their rectangular world, by engaging in the ritual sacrifice of a young goldfish as a gift for his holiness. The aquarium owner, being completely unaware of the micro-religion taking place in his living room, is naturally both shocked and upset that the beautiful and expensive fish he’s trying so hard to to take care of are constantly found floating belly up with little X’s over their eyes.
About This Cartoon: I’ve owned a lot of aquariums over the years and I’ve always tended to see the aquarium as a metaphor of our lives and the culture of self-contained ideas we’re all born into, because it’s from here that we get our language, our beliefs, our nationalism and our religion, and it’s very rare that we learn to venture outside these teachings and the often limited perspective we’re brought up in.

The fish in this cartoon see the man as god, and from their narrow experience felt compelled to construct a religion around his presence in order to give their lives hope and meaning. And of course, like so many religions, they also managed to twist things around and toss out common sense in the name of worshiping their “heavenly father”. The man, of course, is doing everything he can to make them happy and yet despite all his efforts, he keeps ending up with dead fish. Is this how God feels about us at this point? Has He given up on us as I eventually did with most of my aquariums? What’s your opinion?

Mar 04 2014

New Old Tunes for the Baby Boomer Generation

For all of you from the 60’s and 70’s who are now in their 60’s and 70’s and missing those great old tunes, there’s good news as some of your favorite artists have re-released their best hits with new lyrics to accommodate their aging audience…

Rolling Stones – “Can’t Get No Circulation”

The Who – “My Degeneration”

Strawberry Alarm Clock – “ExLax In Peppermint”

Bob Dylan – “Like A Kidney Stone”

The Beatles – “In My Life…Don’t Ask…”

The Doors – “HMO I love you”

The Supremes – “Stop In The Name Of GOD!”

The Beatles – “No Ragin’ Wood”

James Brown – “I Feel Sick”

Tommy James and the Shondells – “Crystal Blue Prescription“

Simon & Garfunkel – “Feelin’ Grumpy”

The Who – “Who Are You…No, Seriously…Who The Hell Are You!!?”

The Who – “Won’t Be Cool Again”

copyright 2014 www.insideout-tees.com – you can share but please link back.

Jun 03 2012

Pot smoking mother drives off with baby on car roof

PHOENIX (Reuters) June 2, 2012 – A marijuana-smoking woman was arrested on Saturday in Phoenix after she accidentally drove away with her five-week-old son in a child safety seat on the roof of her vehicle, police said.

It’s incredibly stupid to drive while you’re high on anything, especially when you get caught doing something stupid and you happen to be high at the time, then it becomes extra stupid and you end up in Yahoo news. In her defense though, the kid was strapped in. Plus it does sound like she was under some stress after her boyfriend was arrested earlier in the evening for a DUI, so add that to the short-term memory-blocking qualities of cannabis and you have a mother who leaves her newborn on top of the car. Why didn’t she hear the kid fall off? My guess is two simple words…Led Zeppelin…

But can you imagine how many times a day some parent forgets their kid? My parents left me in Barstow on the way to Vegas when I was 8 and they weren’t high on anything but tobacco. We’d stopped at a gas station, I went to relieve myself and when I came out I was an orphan. They came back for me though, eventually. Probably when my Dad realized I had his wallet. We still laugh about it in my therapy sessions or during the holidays when we’ve all had a few drinks and it turns into “Everybody Loves Raymond” without the laugh track. Pain

May 27 2012

Coyote Hit By Car Gets Stuck In Fender – Authorities Believe This Was No Accident

On a road trip from Colorado to California in 2009, brother and sister Daniel and Tevyn East were driving at night along Interstate 80 near the Nevada-Utah border when they noticed a pack of coyotes near the roadside. When one of the animals ran, or was possibly pushed in front of the car, the impact sounded fatal so the siblings thought there was no point in stopping.

Eight hours, two fuel stops, and 600 miles later they found the wild animal embedded in their front fender – and very much alive.

Coyote stuck in fender

Coyote stuck in fender with head showingThe entire front of the car had to be taken apart to free the coyote who was then taken to an animal shelter where he somehow managed to escape just a few days later.

Coyote resting in cage while prime suspect looks inBased on a review of photographs taken of the animal, local authorities are now convinced that this “accident” may have actually been part of an ongoing rivalry between the coyote and a much smarter and faster road runner. Only a few weeks after the animal’s escape, it was reported that the same coyote was seen wearing a pair of ACME jet skates as he was chasing the bird before smashing into a fake train tunnel painted on the side of a large rock. Razz

– This has been a “Fun with Photoshop” Inside Out original

May 26 2012

My New Message For Spammers

Using a WordPress plugin called Spammer Blocker, I came up with the following message that convicted spammers will see when they’re banned from my site…

Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Baked Beans Spam Spam Spam

Warning! You Have Been Identified As A Spammer!

Spam Spam Spam Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam! Spam Spa-A-A-A-A-Am Spam Spa-A-A-A-A-Am Spam. Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Spam Spam Spam Spam!

Tell them what they’ve won Johnny!

You’ve won total and permanent banishment from this website! Congratulations!

Since spam is incredibly annoying and I can’t imagine still lucrative, why not try a different career. Have you ever considered selling drugs for a living? Or you could become a telemarketer, an organ donor, a paper hanger, get a degree online, sell your plasma, volunteer for painful science experiments, or become a professional dumpster diver (they make good money!)

Either way, your IP address has been forever blocked.

Namaste… Peace

May 23 2012

Zombie Lincoln For President

Can’t decide on who to vote for president? Forget ‘em all! With today’s advancements in genetics and cloning, maybe it’s time we dug up one of America’s favorite all-time dead presidents to help lead our country during these difficult times. That’s right, I say it’s time to bring back Abraham Lincoln.

So let’s all head over to Lincoln’s tomb, grab some DNA, and clone one of our most beloved presidents back into the white house. Sure there’s always the chance he’ll turn out to be a soulless Zombie hungry for the brains of hapless victims, but c’mon, wouldn’t that still be an improvement? Certainly nobody from Congress would mess with him, and aside from the cool factor, could you imagine what the G8 summit would be like?

Click to view Zombie Lincoln for President
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