Category: Miscellaneous

Jun 03 2012

Pot smoking mother drives off with baby on car roof

PHOENIX (Reuters) June 2, 2012 – A marijuana-smoking woman was arrested on Saturday in Phoenix after she accidentally drove away with her five-week-old son in a child safety seat on the roof of her vehicle, police said.

It’s incredibly stupid to drive while you’re high on anything, especially when you get caught doing something stupid and you happen to be high at the time, then it becomes extra stupid and you end up in Yahoo news. In her defense though, the kid was strapped in. Plus it does sound like she was under some stress after her boyfriend was arrested earlier in the evening for a DUI, so add that to the short-term memory-blocking qualities of cannabis and you have a mother who leaves her newborn on top of the car. Why didn’t she hear the kid fall off? My guess is two simple words…Led Zeppelin…

But can you imagine how many times a day some parent forgets their kid? My parents left me in Barstow on the way to Vegas when I was 8 and they weren’t high on anything but tobacco. We’d stopped at a gas station, I went to relieve myself and when I came out I was an orphan. They came back for me though, eventually. Probably when my Dad realized I had his wallet. We still laugh about it in my therapy sessions or during the holidays when we’ve all had a few drinks and it turns into “Everybody Loves Raymond” without the laugh track. Pain

May 27 2012

Coyote Hit By Car Gets Stuck In Fender – Authorities Believe This Was No Accident

On a road trip from Colorado to California in 2009, brother and sister Daniel and Tevyn East were driving at night along Interstate 80 near the Nevada-Utah border when they noticed a pack of coyotes near the roadside. When one of the animals ran, or was possibly pushed in front of the car, the impact sounded fatal so the siblings thought there was no point in stopping.

Eight hours, two fuel stops, and 600 miles later they found the wild animal embedded in their front fender – and very much alive.

Coyote stuck in fender

Coyote stuck in fender with head showingThe entire front of the car had to be taken apart to free the coyote who was then taken to an animal shelter where he somehow managed to escape just a few days later.

Coyote resting in cage while prime suspect looks inBased on a review of photographs taken of the animal, local authorities are now convinced that this “accident” may have actually been part of an ongoing rivalry between the coyote and a much smarter and faster road runner. Only a few weeks after the animal’s escape, it was reported that the same coyote was seen wearing a pair of ACME jet skates as he was chasing the bird before smashing into a fake train tunnel painted on the side of a large rock. Razz

– This has been a “Fun with Photoshop” Inside Out original

May 26 2012

My New Message For Spammers

Using a WordPress plugin called Spammer Blocker, I came up with the following message that convicted spammers will see when they’re banned from my site…

Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Baked Beans Spam Spam Spam

Warning! You Have Been Identified As A Spammer!

Spam Spam Spam Spam. Lovely Spam! Wonderful Spam! Spam Spa-A-A-A-A-Am Spam Spa-A-A-A-A-Am Spam. Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Lovely Spam! Spam Spam Spam Spam!

Tell them what they’ve won Johnny!

You’ve won total and permanent banishment from this website! Congratulations!

Since spam is incredibly annoying and I can’t imagine still lucrative, why not try a different career. Have you ever considered selling drugs for a living? Or you could become a telemarketer, an organ donor, a paper hanger, get a degree online, sell your plasma, volunteer for painful science experiments, or become a professional dumpster diver (they make good money!)

Either way, your IP address has been forever blocked.

Namaste… Peace

May 24 2010

A Guy Fairy Tale

A Guy Fairy Tale

Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess… “Will you marry me?”

The Princess said, “NO!”

And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and went fishing and hunting and played golf and dated women half his age and drank beer and scotch and had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up .

The End

Alibi3col theme by Themocracy