May 21 2011

So either the rapture didn’t happen or it did and there simply wasn’t anyone worth taking. Hard to say. My question though, among millions, is this. What’s gonna happen when Jesus does finally return and sees that the cross has been used as a symbol of his life and teachings and that people have erected them everywhere in his honor? Is he gonna be like “Gee thanks, took me 2000 years of therapy to get over the horrible way I died and this is what I come back to!? I’m outta here!

Nah, I’m sure Jesus wouldn’t do that, but for now the long wait for salvation continues, and for the preacher Harold Camping who started this whole May 21 rapture prediction, an explanation is also awaited. No doubt it’ll be something like, “Whoops, forgot to carry the one! Okay, let’s see. I have a prostate exam scheduled for Wednesday, so…um…next Tuesday for sure. Now everyone send me your money so I can put up more billboards.”

What’s really weird is that I’m actually kinda sad the rapture didn’t happen, because I think like everyone else, I’m constantly looking for some proof that life is more than just a crazy fluke of the universe. Of course one could look at the incredible engineering involved in life and say that’s all the proof one needs, but still, a burning bush wouldn’t hurt once in awhile either.

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3 Responses to “No Rapture? Whoops, forgot to carry the one…”

  1. Gericom says:

    Where in the world is Harold Camping? Its ok, you were wrong in 1994 and now you are wrong in 2011. You can always set a new date?

  2. admin says:

    I tell ya folks, writing these posts is like doing arm farts in the desert. What fun is it if nobody's there?

    This previous comment was spam but I edited it so I could include it because nobody's bloody writing anything! Is there anybody out there besides spammers? None of you get through anyways thanks to Akismet. Get a life! Better yet, get a job! Sell your blood! Collect recyclables! Just stop posting your spam!

  3. Hey, I like the idea of a "no rapture" tshirt - like "not selected for the rapture" type thing. If I started floating off into the sky I think I'd be more worried than if I was standing on the ground.

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